Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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