is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
