Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
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