he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Randomize
