After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
