Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
