Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I still have a little drunk in my system
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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