she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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