That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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