I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
