Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
and she was petting her beer can
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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