I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize