I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
