Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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