I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
