i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
