he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
