I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize