i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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