Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
