I have demons in me.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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