it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
