I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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