I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
