I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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