I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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