Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You are the jesus of drinking
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
