When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
