Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
It's Friday. Sex?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Can I color on your dick again?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
