just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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