I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
