I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
