My balls are so social today.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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