wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
