Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize