Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
