Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
