I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize