bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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