Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize