he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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