Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
