Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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