No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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