put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
