I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
its not stalking. its research.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Can I color on your dick again?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
