I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
