i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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