We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
