Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
