I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
