my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
