Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
