I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize