Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
